May the bridges I burn light my way

Where to begin? I have so much to say but no idea how to say it. I was admitted back into a psych ward, for again purposely over dosing on pills. It's not that I want to die, I just don't know where else to go from here. But obviously there is a God out there who wants me to live. In two days I am admitting myself in an inpatient drug/alcohol abuse center. (This will be the second time.) The psychiatrist told me that no one should be conscious with the amount of alcohol that was in my body when I was admitted into the ER. I was that night. Honestly, this time around the psych ward wasn't so bad. I became close friends with a 48 year old anorexic/bulimic who also was an alcoholic. She was 83 pounds. A skeleton. I've never been able to relate to anyone as much as her. I can't go into more detail right now. I'm losing weight still. When I got home, my family asked me if I had even ate anything during those 11 days while I was there. I simply replied no. I'm an adult, I'm not under their control anymore. Today I walked 2 miles and I could barely make it. I felt so weak. I get light headed every time I stand up. I would say my calorie intake per day is 200-300. No more. I've pushed away all of my friends. I also broke up with Sam. Nobody needs to be with me and deal with these demons I'm fighting. I couldn't put that on anybody. I was never one to rely on anyone but myself anyways. On a positive note thank you for the comments and hello new followers :) I really appreciate the encouragement girls.